Meaningless point #1

The NFL clearly has a bias toward cats.

Think about it: the Bengals, the Lions, the Panthers and the Jaguars — all NFL team names derived from some form of cat.  Where are the dogs? No bulldogs? No boxers?

But the bias runs even deeper. Here’s the part where I confess something awful: a long time ago, while I was driving at night, a cat suddenly jumped in front of my car, causing me to hit and kill it. There was nothing I could have done — it all happened in a flash. I have no idea why the cat decided to bolt in front of my car, but I know I felt awful about it. The experience made me sick to my stomach. It was truly an accident, but there’s no denying I killed the cat.

That was 20 years ago. And to this day, I have yet to get approval from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that would allow me the privilege to play in the league. So, once again, the league is taking a preferential stance when it comes to cats.

Finding the words

Poet James Magill is doing exactly that.

He has a 65-page collection of his poetry, “Reflections on the Human Condition,” and he has generously allowed me to reprint one of my favorites.

STREET by James Magill

Weathered and forgotten man
Papered on an open bench.

Moves much of his world
Pushing a rusted shopping cart.

Never complains or talks too much
Counts pieces of his life in the dark.

He sometimes sits and longingly waits
Often looking toward the Eastern Gate. ~

His poetry is worth further exploration, as is the story behind the poet. Fans, fellow writers and prospective publishers of his collection can learn more at his web site.

Good bands, bad moves

Sooner or later, it will happen.

Your favorite band will put out a song or an album that just plain sucks. Sure, the band will say all the usual stuff about “not wanting to be pigeonholed,” or “exploring a new direction,” or “finding a fresh sound,” or “progressing musically.” And all of those things are just fine — no one could argue that. But a crappy album is a crappy album.

As a fan of progressive rock, I have liked bands such as Rush, Pink Floyd and, more recently, Riverside. My favorite band of all is Porcupine Tree. They have produced some phenomenal work, and if you’re looking for an introduction, I suggest the album In Absentia.

There have also been some misses, namely Metanoia. This is the one album by those guys that occupies zero space on my iPhone. For a band so rich in talent to deliver an album like Metanoia is like having your billionaire aunt show up to your birthday party to give you the lint out of her pocket. To put it simply: awesome band, horrible album.

Their other bad move — and it’s a crime committed by other bands, too — is putting five minutes of dead air at the end of a song. (Specifically, the otherwise decent tune Glass Arm Shattering) Five minutes of dead air? Seriously? If dead air really helps sell an album, you can look for a new release from me next week.

My suggestion: if you really think your song is best served by ending with five minutes of silence, don’t record all that dead air — just include a note saying as much in the CD’s liner notes. When the song ends, I can simply hit the pause button for five minutes. Or not.

How have your favorite bands screwed up?

Gratuitous nudity

Ah, nudity is absolutely great.

It’s my favorite way to shower. And sleep. And it’s the fashion mode employed in some of my favorite photographs (from my own work as well as other photographers).

No, there’s nothing like being naked. Sometimes, however, fate will reveal you to be more exposed than nude.

Here’s the story.